One thing I really like about this book is that Brizendine uses so many real-life examples, and some of them are her own personal experiences. I especially enjoyed that she started this chapter off by saying that her husband thought emotions didn't need to be included in a separate chapter and she wouldn't have been able to finish the book without devoting a whole chapter to them. Little things like that help readers understand the differences they have been reading about.
Again, the language of the book makes it so great. On page 118, Brizendine writes that when a woman begins matching the breathing and posture of a man, and feeling what he is feeling, (this was the example of the wife who thought her husband was cheating) she is like "a human emotion detector." Women run on emotion. The "female brain is a high-performance emotion machine" (pg. 119) and there doesn't seem to be a time when emotions don't play a part in our lives. Male brains focus on sex; female brains focus on emotions. (I can't remember if Brizendine made that analogy somewhere or if my female/English brain did it...) Men just don't have the same circuits when it comes to emotions. Brizendine writes "It's only when men actually see tears that they realize, viscerally, that something's wrong" (pg. 119). She also says that women "cry four times more easily than men" (pg. 119), which sometimes seems to be an accurate figure, and sometimes even seems low.
Okay, so now I have an actual expert backing me up on the scary movie thing! Women are more likely to have trouble sleeping after watching a scary movie than men are (pg. 123). They also "startle more easily and react more fearfully" (pg. 123). So watching horror movies through the spaces between my fingers doesn't sound so silly anymore! I knew watching them when it was still light outside (and following them with a nice, safe movie) was a good idea :)
I also really related to what Brizendine wrote about emotional memory. Women remember things almost like they were a movie being played out in their heads. Details of big moments stick in the brains of women. Thinking back to their first date, a woman might remember what they both were wearing, if he opened the car door, where they went, what the weather was like, what they ordered, and how she was feeling, while her husband might just remember what she wore or that the food was good. I think this book can help women understand men just as easily as helping men understand women. Too often, women get upset with men because they forget things. But their brains are just different. Like with giving directions; men like numbers, women like landmarks. Instead of getting mad, men and women need to figure out how to work together.
It was interesting to read about the emotions that do trigger the male brain. Brizendine says "threatening to leave or threatening him physically will get his attention in an instant" (pg. 129). Sadly, far too many women use the first one to get something. I wondered if the threats of 'if you leave I will kill myself' or 'you can't leave because I am pregnant' (not exactly a threat, but still powerful) fall under this category of emotion in the male brain.
Brizendine says that as men age, the amount of testosterone they produce goes down, which lowers their anger threshold (pg. 129). I don't think I realized how much testosterone had to do with anger before reading this book. I thought that the analogy of women chewing on anger like a cow's extra stomach re-chewing on food was brilliant and disturbing at the same time! I liked the statement that a woman "will avoid anger or confrontation the same way a man will avoid an emotion" (pg. 130). It is also true that women talk to other people about their anger before talking to the person they are angry at. It helps calm us down. We call people on the phone or talk to them when we see them. We might even go into the restroom at a restaurant to talk about something that just happened. But male brains don't have this calming step.
Okay, I am going to wrap this up, really! I really thought the section of anxiety and depression were interesting. Especially that "anxiety is four times more common in women" (pg. 132) and that women "are nearly twice as likely as men to suffer from depression and anxiety, especially through their reproductive years" (pg. 132). However, we can't think of them as things only women get. Anyone can become depressed or have anxiety, but more women suffer from them than men. Women are also more likely to be affected by the seasons. Probably the full moon too, though Brizendine doesn't say that :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
i also loved the section about scary movies! i knew i wasn't just being a baby :P
i think the emotional memory bit really applies to teaching because it reinforces the idea that lessons need to be engaging and intereactive in order for students to remember them and to really learn the information being presented.
the aggression section i think is important for teachers too. i know that i tend to avoid conflict at all costs. i think that the idea of aggression should be taken into consideration by teachers during group work maybe. some girls might get talked over, have their ideas pushed aside, etc., if they're in a group with some really dominant people. not that that might not be beneficial sometimes, but i think teachers should be vigilant of mixing up groups so as not to perpetuate that type of situation.
the depression thing is always important with teenagers, but i think that teachers need to be sensitive about how they deal with it. i have had experiences where the teacher has confronted me about being depressed in front of the entire class and it is horrible. i've also seen some tactless teachers try to "investigate" a situation by talking to their friends and trying to get them to talk about what the student has been going through; but the "depressed" student is never confronted by the teacher and hears about it from their friends....i think it's a hard subject to bring up but i think that being aware of the depression trends in boys and girls (the fact that girls are more easily depressed but that boys tend to be more violently so) is really important for teachers.
Post a Comment