Okay, so somehow my brain didn't put it all together at the beginning of this journal, and I didn't make posts about the first chapters. I make comments about the chapters because I thought we were going to have one post for each chapter and make comments to it, not each make a post for each chapter. Oh well. So here are my notes about those chapters :)
Introduction:
I love that Brizendine starts the book by using terms I can understand. She refers to the Anterior Cingulate Cortex as "the worry-wort center" (pg. xiii). The hormones are characters with short descriptions. I especially love how she says that testosterone "has no time for cuddling" (pg. xv). She also lays out the different phases women go through in life in a table that is helpful and easy to read.
Some of the things in the introduction could be especially helpful for teachers. Brizendine says that it takes females longer to get to an answer than males, and they use different circuits than males (pg. 5). Girls might just need more time than they are given to answer questions. Females stress about seemingly small things. They are more able to read emotions in other people, and are pretty much ruled by emotions themselves.
Chapter 1 - The Birth of the Female Brain:
The image of the little girl rocking the fire truck wrapped in blanket saying, "Don't worry, little truckie, everything will be all right" (pg. 12) might be the cutest thing ever. I also love that it shows that emotions and traits are hardwired in the brain. Just because a girl is given a toy that isn't a doll doesn't mean it will change how she feels.
I thought it was interesting that facial expressions are so important to females. Little girls need to see how someone else feels about things. They need approval from their parents and teachers. I never thought about how much a facial expression can change what a girl might do. Girls are also more focused on developing, and maintaining, friendships with other girls. They use language and make decisions together. They are less aggressive. I also liked that Brizendine says that both nature and nurture are important to the development of children (pg. 28).
Chapter 2 - Teen Girl Brain:
This is, of course, the chapter that is most important to secondary education teachers. So many important things were brought up in this chapter. Brizendine points out that because attracting a mate in order to keep the population going is so ingrained in the female brain that they would still be worrying about how they look even if televisions and magazines didn't exist (pg. 32). Hormones drive this. Hormones pretty much drive everything in females. And they can change on a daily basis.
Social bonding is so important for girls at this age. Brizendine says that bonding with other girls results in "the same kind of dopamine rush that coke or heroin addicts get when they do drugs" (pg. 38)! So interfering with it can be a dangerous thing. (Not that girls should be allowed to talk with their friends whenever they want or anything.)
The whole idea of the female brain maturing faster than the male brain is fascinating to me. I always think it is strange when parents freak out about their daughters dating a boy who is a couple of years older than her at this age. In order to be with someone who is on the same level as her, she usually has to.
Girls at this age are also often going through extreme changes in their body. Their period might have just started recently, or changed. PMS, PMDD, and the whole of the menstrual cycle can make a girl seem crazy. If teachers don't understand the effects of the hormones going through the body, they can react very negatively towards girls. (Even my step-mom didn't understand them because she never got cramps, so when I had them as a teenager, she thought I was making it up and just wanted to get out of school, gym, or family trips to places like the water park.)
This is a time in life when females start to become more likely to develop depression. Brizendine says "by age fifteen, girls are twice as likely to suffer from depression" (pg. 53). This is something teachers and parents need to be aware of and watch for.
Chapter 3 - Love and Trust:
This was a chapter that I found interesting, but it doesn't really have a lot to do with teaching.
One interesting thing is that "girls learn to tell the difference between reality and fairy tales or 'just-pretend' play earlier than boys" (pg. 65). It is also important to know that romantic love is like a drug, so a girl who has just been dumped is going through withdrawal. However, men who have been dumped are "three to four times more likely to commit suicide. Women, by contrast, sink into depression" (pg. 75). So we have to watch out for both sexes when it comes to losing love.
The thing about 20-second hugs was fantastic! I can just see parents with stopwatches in the halls!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
The End
Like Laura, I am sad to be done with this book! I think that textbooks should be written like this so they are more interesting, fun, and relevant. It wouldn't be such a chore to read them.
I like that Brizendine summarizes the book at the end and reiterates the things she finds most important, like how much stress can impact our lives and that "there is no unisex brain" (pg. 161). It is also helpful that she addresses a few last issues at the end.
I am also confused about Hormone Therapy. It is such an individual issue. Each woman is different. I am glad that more doctors are looking at this issue more closely instead of just prescribing the same amount of hormones to every woman at the menopause stage. This is such a big change, and there is a lot of life to live after it. It is scary that the risk for depression jumps so high at this stage; fourteen times the normal risk! (pg. 169). That is something that people and doctors need to be aware of.
Postpartum depression is a huge issue, even though it only affects about ten percent of women (pg. 181). I thought the number was higher than that just because it is such a big concern in this country. I also didn't really realize that it can take a year to show up. The female brain does some scary things.
I was a little bit surprised that sexual orientation was not in the book more. There are actually less than two pages about it. I would have liked to see what happens when two female brains deal with each other the way a female brain and a male brain do. What happens if both women go through menopause at the same time? How does the mommy brain develop for a woman whose partner carries a child?
Other than a few questions, I thought Brisendine did a very good job of wrapping the book up. It could have been twice as long and I still would have read the whole thing!
I like that Brizendine summarizes the book at the end and reiterates the things she finds most important, like how much stress can impact our lives and that "there is no unisex brain" (pg. 161). It is also helpful that she addresses a few last issues at the end.
I am also confused about Hormone Therapy. It is such an individual issue. Each woman is different. I am glad that more doctors are looking at this issue more closely instead of just prescribing the same amount of hormones to every woman at the menopause stage. This is such a big change, and there is a lot of life to live after it. It is scary that the risk for depression jumps so high at this stage; fourteen times the normal risk! (pg. 169). That is something that people and doctors need to be aware of.
Postpartum depression is a huge issue, even though it only affects about ten percent of women (pg. 181). I thought the number was higher than that just because it is such a big concern in this country. I also didn't really realize that it can take a year to show up. The female brain does some scary things.
I was a little bit surprised that sexual orientation was not in the book more. There are actually less than two pages about it. I would have liked to see what happens when two female brains deal with each other the way a female brain and a male brain do. What happens if both women go through menopause at the same time? How does the mommy brain develop for a woman whose partner carries a child?
Other than a few questions, I thought Brisendine did a very good job of wrapping the book up. It could have been twice as long and I still would have read the whole thing!
Chapter 7: The Mature Female Brain
I am not going to send as much time on this chapter as the others, mostly because it scared me a whole lot! However, like we were talking about in class last night, it might be helpful for teachers because mothers of students or other teachers might be going through menopause (where did that name come from?) and we need to try to understand where they are coming from.
A lot of women we know (just between the three of us! who knows how many between the whole class!) are going through this change. Brizendine says "150,000 American women per month are entering this phase of life" (pg. 136). That is a lot of women! According to the book, "a menopausal woman becomes less worried about pleasing others and now wants to please herself" (pg. 136). While I am all for women doing things for themselves, this phase can be really hard on the people around them. If a menopausal woman has children who are in high school or transitioning to college, those children might be confused about what is happening to their mother. High school and college are times when many children need their mother, and if she is going through all the changes that come with menopause, the children could suffer. (I am so not trying to bash on women going through menopause! Just trying to look at it from the point of view of the children or teachers.) The example in the book actually made me feel bad for the husband! The woman, Sylvia, pretty much had her changed expectations and limitations changed overnight. While this is not at all her fault because of the changes in her brain, it also wasn't her husband's fault. This seems like such a scary time of life!!!! I really liked Sylvia's comment that "perimenopause is like adolescence - without the fun" (pg. 139).
There are so many things that happen during this time. The body clock gets out of whack, which can result in unplanned pregnancies. Interest in sex declines. The mommy brain takes a break. Wives become fed up with their husbands. However, they also find things that interest them and become more motivated. It makes sense that many women go back to school or work at this point in their lives. But I am still afraid of it! :)
A lot of women we know (just between the three of us! who knows how many between the whole class!) are going through this change. Brizendine says "150,000 American women per month are entering this phase of life" (pg. 136). That is a lot of women! According to the book, "a menopausal woman becomes less worried about pleasing others and now wants to please herself" (pg. 136). While I am all for women doing things for themselves, this phase can be really hard on the people around them. If a menopausal woman has children who are in high school or transitioning to college, those children might be confused about what is happening to their mother. High school and college are times when many children need their mother, and if she is going through all the changes that come with menopause, the children could suffer. (I am so not trying to bash on women going through menopause! Just trying to look at it from the point of view of the children or teachers.) The example in the book actually made me feel bad for the husband! The woman, Sylvia, pretty much had her changed expectations and limitations changed overnight. While this is not at all her fault because of the changes in her brain, it also wasn't her husband's fault. This seems like such a scary time of life!!!! I really liked Sylvia's comment that "perimenopause is like adolescence - without the fun" (pg. 139).
There are so many things that happen during this time. The body clock gets out of whack, which can result in unplanned pregnancies. Interest in sex declines. The mommy brain takes a break. Wives become fed up with their husbands. However, they also find things that interest them and become more motivated. It makes sense that many women go back to school or work at this point in their lives. But I am still afraid of it! :)
Chapter 6: Emotion
One thing I really like about this book is that Brizendine uses so many real-life examples, and some of them are her own personal experiences. I especially enjoyed that she started this chapter off by saying that her husband thought emotions didn't need to be included in a separate chapter and she wouldn't have been able to finish the book without devoting a whole chapter to them. Little things like that help readers understand the differences they have been reading about.
Again, the language of the book makes it so great. On page 118, Brizendine writes that when a woman begins matching the breathing and posture of a man, and feeling what he is feeling, (this was the example of the wife who thought her husband was cheating) she is like "a human emotion detector." Women run on emotion. The "female brain is a high-performance emotion machine" (pg. 119) and there doesn't seem to be a time when emotions don't play a part in our lives. Male brains focus on sex; female brains focus on emotions. (I can't remember if Brizendine made that analogy somewhere or if my female/English brain did it...) Men just don't have the same circuits when it comes to emotions. Brizendine writes "It's only when men actually see tears that they realize, viscerally, that something's wrong" (pg. 119). She also says that women "cry four times more easily than men" (pg. 119), which sometimes seems to be an accurate figure, and sometimes even seems low.
Okay, so now I have an actual expert backing me up on the scary movie thing! Women are more likely to have trouble sleeping after watching a scary movie than men are (pg. 123). They also "startle more easily and react more fearfully" (pg. 123). So watching horror movies through the spaces between my fingers doesn't sound so silly anymore! I knew watching them when it was still light outside (and following them with a nice, safe movie) was a good idea :)
I also really related to what Brizendine wrote about emotional memory. Women remember things almost like they were a movie being played out in their heads. Details of big moments stick in the brains of women. Thinking back to their first date, a woman might remember what they both were wearing, if he opened the car door, where they went, what the weather was like, what they ordered, and how she was feeling, while her husband might just remember what she wore or that the food was good. I think this book can help women understand men just as easily as helping men understand women. Too often, women get upset with men because they forget things. But their brains are just different. Like with giving directions; men like numbers, women like landmarks. Instead of getting mad, men and women need to figure out how to work together.
It was interesting to read about the emotions that do trigger the male brain. Brizendine says "threatening to leave or threatening him physically will get his attention in an instant" (pg. 129). Sadly, far too many women use the first one to get something. I wondered if the threats of 'if you leave I will kill myself' or 'you can't leave because I am pregnant' (not exactly a threat, but still powerful) fall under this category of emotion in the male brain.
Brizendine says that as men age, the amount of testosterone they produce goes down, which lowers their anger threshold (pg. 129). I don't think I realized how much testosterone had to do with anger before reading this book. I thought that the analogy of women chewing on anger like a cow's extra stomach re-chewing on food was brilliant and disturbing at the same time! I liked the statement that a woman "will avoid anger or confrontation the same way a man will avoid an emotion" (pg. 130). It is also true that women talk to other people about their anger before talking to the person they are angry at. It helps calm us down. We call people on the phone or talk to them when we see them. We might even go into the restroom at a restaurant to talk about something that just happened. But male brains don't have this calming step.
Okay, I am going to wrap this up, really! I really thought the section of anxiety and depression were interesting. Especially that "anxiety is four times more common in women" (pg. 132) and that women "are nearly twice as likely as men to suffer from depression and anxiety, especially through their reproductive years" (pg. 132). However, we can't think of them as things only women get. Anyone can become depressed or have anxiety, but more women suffer from them than men. Women are also more likely to be affected by the seasons. Probably the full moon too, though Brizendine doesn't say that :)
Again, the language of the book makes it so great. On page 118, Brizendine writes that when a woman begins matching the breathing and posture of a man, and feeling what he is feeling, (this was the example of the wife who thought her husband was cheating) she is like "a human emotion detector." Women run on emotion. The "female brain is a high-performance emotion machine" (pg. 119) and there doesn't seem to be a time when emotions don't play a part in our lives. Male brains focus on sex; female brains focus on emotions. (I can't remember if Brizendine made that analogy somewhere or if my female/English brain did it...) Men just don't have the same circuits when it comes to emotions. Brizendine writes "It's only when men actually see tears that they realize, viscerally, that something's wrong" (pg. 119). She also says that women "cry four times more easily than men" (pg. 119), which sometimes seems to be an accurate figure, and sometimes even seems low.
Okay, so now I have an actual expert backing me up on the scary movie thing! Women are more likely to have trouble sleeping after watching a scary movie than men are (pg. 123). They also "startle more easily and react more fearfully" (pg. 123). So watching horror movies through the spaces between my fingers doesn't sound so silly anymore! I knew watching them when it was still light outside (and following them with a nice, safe movie) was a good idea :)
I also really related to what Brizendine wrote about emotional memory. Women remember things almost like they were a movie being played out in their heads. Details of big moments stick in the brains of women. Thinking back to their first date, a woman might remember what they both were wearing, if he opened the car door, where they went, what the weather was like, what they ordered, and how she was feeling, while her husband might just remember what she wore or that the food was good. I think this book can help women understand men just as easily as helping men understand women. Too often, women get upset with men because they forget things. But their brains are just different. Like with giving directions; men like numbers, women like landmarks. Instead of getting mad, men and women need to figure out how to work together.
It was interesting to read about the emotions that do trigger the male brain. Brizendine says "threatening to leave or threatening him physically will get his attention in an instant" (pg. 129). Sadly, far too many women use the first one to get something. I wondered if the threats of 'if you leave I will kill myself' or 'you can't leave because I am pregnant' (not exactly a threat, but still powerful) fall under this category of emotion in the male brain.
Brizendine says that as men age, the amount of testosterone they produce goes down, which lowers their anger threshold (pg. 129). I don't think I realized how much testosterone had to do with anger before reading this book. I thought that the analogy of women chewing on anger like a cow's extra stomach re-chewing on food was brilliant and disturbing at the same time! I liked the statement that a woman "will avoid anger or confrontation the same way a man will avoid an emotion" (pg. 130). It is also true that women talk to other people about their anger before talking to the person they are angry at. It helps calm us down. We call people on the phone or talk to them when we see them. We might even go into the restroom at a restaurant to talk about something that just happened. But male brains don't have this calming step.
Okay, I am going to wrap this up, really! I really thought the section of anxiety and depression were interesting. Especially that "anxiety is four times more common in women" (pg. 132) and that women "are nearly twice as likely as men to suffer from depression and anxiety, especially through their reproductive years" (pg. 132). However, we can't think of them as things only women get. Anyone can become depressed or have anxiety, but more women suffer from them than men. Women are also more likely to be affected by the seasons. Probably the full moon too, though Brizendine doesn't say that :)
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Final Thoughts
i just finished reading the book! i'm sad that it's over but i feel pretty accomplished too, like maybe now i'm an almost-female-brain-expert or something. at any rate, i've learned a lot!
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the epilogue was a nice conclusion to the book. There were some really good quotes that i thought would be helpful for our paper when trying to sum up main ideas and such:
"If i had to impart one lesson to women that i learned through writing this book, it would be that understanding our innate biology empowers us to better plan our future" (159).
"My intentions for this book were to help women through the various shifts in their lives: shifts so big they actually create changes in a woman's perception of reality, her values, and what she pays attention to" (160).
"The fear of discrimination based on differences runs deep, and for many years assumptions about sex differences went scientifically unexamined for fear that women wouldn't be able to claim equality with men" (161).
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i really appreciated the appendix on Hormone Therapy, even though i still feel confused about whether or not it's a good idea. there are so many pros and cons to each side that i don't know how i'll ever choose the right option. i liked the slightly indignant tone that Brizendine takes in this sections over the lack of concrete evidence and research related to hormone therapy in women, particularly in the area of testosterone use. Researchers need to start paying more attention to women and their sexual needs :P but i have to say, i was really excited when i read about the study that ends in 2010; i'm glad that there will be more research available when i start menopause!
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Postpartum Depression. oh man. i have a legitimate fear of that specific kind of crazy. after learning about it in my anthropology class last term i felt quite empathetic toward the women Brizendine described in this part of the book. All of the evolutionary adaptations women have accrued that require a vast amount of support and resources as they start caring for children, and how easy it is to biologically/hormonally feel ill-equipped to raise a new infant. even though i never want to have children, i feel quite positive that i would develop PPD should i indeed procreate. i am unbalanced and flighty at the best of times, there is no doubt in my mind that i would become overwhelmed and feel helpless with a new baby.
I am glad that Brizendine added this section. I feel that sometimes women suffering from PPD are stigmatized because they aren't "focusing on their child, but instead wallowing in self pity" or whatever. i liked the quote "women are ashamed because they are expected to be so happy at the birth of their child" (183). I think the idea of motherhood has an unfair reputation for being the best thing in the world, and how could a new mother ever be unhappy when she has a new baby to look after. but i think it would be so exhausting and stressful. and it's okay to feel that way. no one can be on cloud nine all the time, especially if they're losing sleep from caring for an infant, and new mothers shouldn't be held to that expectation.
(okay, i'm getting off my soapbox now) ;)
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the section on sexual orientation was interesting. i remember learning in psych 101 that there was no scientific explanation for lesbians; i also remember being really pissed about that conclusion. i thought the theories of testosterone exposure in utero were really interesting, and plausible. Just like the women who received testosterone supplements and experienced an increased libido (a male-oriented trait), it seems credible that a fetus exposed to more testosterone may exhibit more male-oriented traits like sexual orientation.
i did think it was interesting that men are twice as likely to be gay as women. i have a sneaking suspicion that it's just because gay men are so fabulous ;)
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the epilogue was a nice conclusion to the book. There were some really good quotes that i thought would be helpful for our paper when trying to sum up main ideas and such:
"If i had to impart one lesson to women that i learned through writing this book, it would be that understanding our innate biology empowers us to better plan our future" (159).
"My intentions for this book were to help women through the various shifts in their lives: shifts so big they actually create changes in a woman's perception of reality, her values, and what she pays attention to" (160).
"The fear of discrimination based on differences runs deep, and for many years assumptions about sex differences went scientifically unexamined for fear that women wouldn't be able to claim equality with men" (161).
-------
i really appreciated the appendix on Hormone Therapy, even though i still feel confused about whether or not it's a good idea. there are so many pros and cons to each side that i don't know how i'll ever choose the right option. i liked the slightly indignant tone that Brizendine takes in this sections over the lack of concrete evidence and research related to hormone therapy in women, particularly in the area of testosterone use. Researchers need to start paying more attention to women and their sexual needs :P but i have to say, i was really excited when i read about the study that ends in 2010; i'm glad that there will be more research available when i start menopause!
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Postpartum Depression. oh man. i have a legitimate fear of that specific kind of crazy. after learning about it in my anthropology class last term i felt quite empathetic toward the women Brizendine described in this part of the book. All of the evolutionary adaptations women have accrued that require a vast amount of support and resources as they start caring for children, and how easy it is to biologically/hormonally feel ill-equipped to raise a new infant. even though i never want to have children, i feel quite positive that i would develop PPD should i indeed procreate. i am unbalanced and flighty at the best of times, there is no doubt in my mind that i would become overwhelmed and feel helpless with a new baby.
I am glad that Brizendine added this section. I feel that sometimes women suffering from PPD are stigmatized because they aren't "focusing on their child, but instead wallowing in self pity" or whatever. i liked the quote "women are ashamed because they are expected to be so happy at the birth of their child" (183). I think the idea of motherhood has an unfair reputation for being the best thing in the world, and how could a new mother ever be unhappy when she has a new baby to look after. but i think it would be so exhausting and stressful. and it's okay to feel that way. no one can be on cloud nine all the time, especially if they're losing sleep from caring for an infant, and new mothers shouldn't be held to that expectation.
(okay, i'm getting off my soapbox now) ;)
-------
the section on sexual orientation was interesting. i remember learning in psych 101 that there was no scientific explanation for lesbians; i also remember being really pissed about that conclusion. i thought the theories of testosterone exposure in utero were really interesting, and plausible. Just like the women who received testosterone supplements and experienced an increased libido (a male-oriented trait), it seems credible that a fetus exposed to more testosterone may exhibit more male-oriented traits like sexual orientation.
i did think it was interesting that men are twice as likely to be gay as women. i have a sneaking suspicion that it's just because gay men are so fabulous ;)
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Catching up...
I'm so behind!
I've read through five and most of six (which, like Laura, is probably the most helpful so far) but I'd like to go back through four and five.
I thought that Brizendine did a very good job of noting what it takes when it comes to women and sex--especially getting ready--"Female sexual turn-on begins, ironically, with a brain turn-off" (77). It was also interesting to me in this section that she kept on bringing up warmth--"Her feet were even warm" (77), "If you're not...warm...it's not likely to happen." (78), "Thanks to a hot bath," (79), etc. I guess that's not something I'd think of as just as important as relaxed, safe-feeling,--I mean, they do it in the rain all the time in movies! But I appreciated her note on emotional states and how they relate to sex to a woman, "A woman can't be angry at her man and want to have sex with him at the same time." (83).
The section where she focused on attraction and female infidelity--it was pretty interesting that biologically, women look for two different kinds of men--the long term father, and the short-term father for one night.
And I have to say that I'm beginning to really enjoy the last few pages of each chapter that focuses on the male brain for the same subject--Like Laura and Emily, I love the image Brizendine provides, "Just as women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion while men have a small country road, men have O'Hare Ariport as a hub for processing thoughts about sex whereas women have the airfield nearby that lands small and private planes." (91)
________
Chapter 5--the Mommy Brain
I really enjoyed reading this chapter. At the moment, I have six friends who are either pregnant or else have just had their first baby--In fact, last month, at our church's women's retreat, I lent this book to one of them for the weekend, she spent the whole weekend reading this chapter--giggling over everything she could identify, looking forward to more, and laughing every time Brizendine used the word, "marinate." So having all those girls to look at while I was reading made it pretty relevant in my life--or at least the lives of those around me.
While most women worry about the changes their bodies will undergo over the next nine months, I wonder if maybe they should think about their brains? "Motherhood changes you because it literally alters a woman's brain--structurally, functionally, and in many ways, irreversibly," (95). But I thought it was wonderful how, right after saying that, Brizendine noted that the change isn't completely biological--that fathers, and adoptive parents have some of the same changes that birth mothers do, "these changes result in a motivated, highly attentive, and aggressively protective brain that forces the new mother to alter her responses and priorities in life. She is relating to this person in a way she has never related to anyone else in her life. The stakes are life and death." Soon after my cousin had her baby, she told me about this feeling--before having her own child, she had spent plenty of time with her nephews and other infants, and two months after having her Jackson, she felt the difference between watching someone else's child and spending time with her own--but it was still an adjustment to actually wrap it around her brain that she was Jackson's mother--Another month later, however, at a family function, she was definitely the mother when, as our cousins, 6-16 years old, swarmed her sleeping baby, Sarah could not focus on a conversation, her posture was tense and her eyes constantly went to the car seat that was hidden from her sight by five or so girls.
But speaking of Jackson, I really thought Brizendine's section on "baby lust" was very interesting, that a woman's brain has a biological reaction to a baby is just terrifying! "they may chalk it up to ticking biological clocks, or the "me too" influence of peers, but the real reason is that a brain change has occured and a new reality has set in. The smell of an infant's head carries pheromones that stimulate the female brain to produce the potent love potion oxytocin--creating a chemical reaction that induces baby lust." (97). This talked me into keeping my distance from any of my friends' babies!!
One of the most interesting sections, though, was the part where Brizendine talks about women inheriting their mothers' nurturing traits--even their grandmothers' traits!! "Females 'inherit' their mothers' maternal behavior, good or bad, then pass it on to their daughters and granddaughters." (110). Also the fact that a loving, nurturing, and trust-inducing adult care-giver influences baby health, stress, and intelligence, I thought that was pretty important, and showed that so much of the responsibility really does lie with the parents--I mean, that's something that's pretty much expected, but I don't think that it's really set out very often why nurturing care is so essential for infant development.
I've read through five and most of six (which, like Laura, is probably the most helpful so far) but I'd like to go back through four and five.
I thought that Brizendine did a very good job of noting what it takes when it comes to women and sex--especially getting ready--"Female sexual turn-on begins, ironically, with a brain turn-off" (77). It was also interesting to me in this section that she kept on bringing up warmth--"Her feet were even warm" (77), "If you're not...warm...it's not likely to happen." (78), "Thanks to a hot bath," (79), etc. I guess that's not something I'd think of as just as important as relaxed, safe-feeling,--I mean, they do it in the rain all the time in movies! But I appreciated her note on emotional states and how they relate to sex to a woman, "A woman can't be angry at her man and want to have sex with him at the same time." (83).
The section where she focused on attraction and female infidelity--it was pretty interesting that biologically, women look for two different kinds of men--the long term father, and the short-term father for one night.
And I have to say that I'm beginning to really enjoy the last few pages of each chapter that focuses on the male brain for the same subject--Like Laura and Emily, I love the image Brizendine provides, "Just as women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion while men have a small country road, men have O'Hare Ariport as a hub for processing thoughts about sex whereas women have the airfield nearby that lands small and private planes." (91)
________
Chapter 5--the Mommy Brain
I really enjoyed reading this chapter. At the moment, I have six friends who are either pregnant or else have just had their first baby--In fact, last month, at our church's women's retreat, I lent this book to one of them for the weekend, she spent the whole weekend reading this chapter--giggling over everything she could identify, looking forward to more, and laughing every time Brizendine used the word, "marinate." So having all those girls to look at while I was reading made it pretty relevant in my life--or at least the lives of those around me.
While most women worry about the changes their bodies will undergo over the next nine months, I wonder if maybe they should think about their brains? "Motherhood changes you because it literally alters a woman's brain--structurally, functionally, and in many ways, irreversibly," (95). But I thought it was wonderful how, right after saying that, Brizendine noted that the change isn't completely biological--that fathers, and adoptive parents have some of the same changes that birth mothers do, "these changes result in a motivated, highly attentive, and aggressively protective brain that forces the new mother to alter her responses and priorities in life. She is relating to this person in a way she has never related to anyone else in her life. The stakes are life and death." Soon after my cousin had her baby, she told me about this feeling--before having her own child, she had spent plenty of time with her nephews and other infants, and two months after having her Jackson, she felt the difference between watching someone else's child and spending time with her own--but it was still an adjustment to actually wrap it around her brain that she was Jackson's mother--Another month later, however, at a family function, she was definitely the mother when, as our cousins, 6-16 years old, swarmed her sleeping baby, Sarah could not focus on a conversation, her posture was tense and her eyes constantly went to the car seat that was hidden from her sight by five or so girls.
But speaking of Jackson, I really thought Brizendine's section on "baby lust" was very interesting, that a woman's brain has a biological reaction to a baby is just terrifying! "they may chalk it up to ticking biological clocks, or the "me too" influence of peers, but the real reason is that a brain change has occured and a new reality has set in. The smell of an infant's head carries pheromones that stimulate the female brain to produce the potent love potion oxytocin--creating a chemical reaction that induces baby lust." (97). This talked me into keeping my distance from any of my friends' babies!!
One of the most interesting sections, though, was the part where Brizendine talks about women inheriting their mothers' nurturing traits--even their grandmothers' traits!! "Females 'inherit' their mothers' maternal behavior, good or bad, then pass it on to their daughters and granddaughters." (110). Also the fact that a loving, nurturing, and trust-inducing adult care-giver influences baby health, stress, and intelligence, I thought that was pretty important, and showed that so much of the responsibility really does lie with the parents--I mean, that's something that's pretty much expected, but I don't think that it's really set out very often why nurturing care is so essential for infant development.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Update!
oh my, i feel like i've been neglecting this journal :*( i have been so busy! but i have been reading and i am still absolutely loving this book. i am sad that i'm almost done. i feel like i could read another 200 pages!
Chapter 6 (Emotion: the Feeling Brain) may have been the most helpful to me yet. i got really into understanding the different ways women and men interpret emotional behavior, and i have to say, it has cleared a lot up for me. i've been having a particular problem with one of my boys (more about that in class!) and i found myself reverting back to what i read in this chapter to help navigate the sticky situations i've found myself in recently. The thing about gut feeling has really made me stop and try to analyze the situation accurately. i have been trying to push out the "girl responses" that i seem prone to: going over conversations and trying to figure them out, create scenarios in my head to maneuver through, what it means when i talk to him a lot, and what it means when i have been away from him a lot...mostly just my usual crazy ;) i have instead been trying to step back and think, "no, this is just how my brain is trying to interpret the situation. i need to think about the way the boy brain works before i analyze what's going on." i don't know if it's working, but at least i feel like i'm making an effort to retain my sanity.
i really liked the quote on p. 126 where Brizendine says, "If she doesn't get the expected response, she will persist until she begins to conclude that she's done something wrong or that the person doesn't like or love her anymore." Thank you Louann Brizendine for summing up every relationship i've been a part of for the last 23 years. so with that quote in mind, i have been trying to tone down the crazy in my personal life. i don't know how well it's working however!
another quote i found particularly useful is on p. 124: "Tears in a woman may evoke brain pain in men. The male brain registers helplessness in the face of pain, and such a moment can be extremely difficult for them to tolerate." i think this is a valuable piece of information! it would have been useful years ago, but i am glad i have it locked away in my mind now; crying is just one piece of crazy that boys cannot deal with ;)
The Mature Female Brain (Ch. 7) was a little bit hard for me to wrap my mind around, though i still found it interesting. i enjoy knowing that one day my crazy, stressed out personality will probably mellow and that i won't be such a mess after menopause! i really liked reading about all of Brizendine's patients who were fed up with their pushy husbands and decided to just do what they wanted to do! that's how i'm going to be when i get older, a regular spitfire :D my favorite quote of the chapter was: "this change in behavior is actually the most common one i see in women sixty-five and older. Like Edith, they come into my office depressed, anxious, and unable to sleep. I soon find out that their husbands have retired over the past year" (p. 152)! hahahaha this is why i am going to become a spinster with a lot of cats.
just like the women's biology class that Emily and i took, this chapter confused me about the idea of HT. i just don't know what i'm supposed to do about that and how i'm ever going to know if i should take hormones or not. i guess that's why i'm not a doctor :) i did like the sections of the chapter that talked about estrogen making women healthier and stronger. but the whole thing is confusing! i think that that is the main point Brizendine is making in this book: a woman's brain is as crazy as the rest of her!!! :)
-Laura
Chapter 6 (Emotion: the Feeling Brain) may have been the most helpful to me yet. i got really into understanding the different ways women and men interpret emotional behavior, and i have to say, it has cleared a lot up for me. i've been having a particular problem with one of my boys (more about that in class!) and i found myself reverting back to what i read in this chapter to help navigate the sticky situations i've found myself in recently. The thing about gut feeling has really made me stop and try to analyze the situation accurately. i have been trying to push out the "girl responses" that i seem prone to: going over conversations and trying to figure them out, create scenarios in my head to maneuver through, what it means when i talk to him a lot, and what it means when i have been away from him a lot...mostly just my usual crazy ;) i have instead been trying to step back and think, "no, this is just how my brain is trying to interpret the situation. i need to think about the way the boy brain works before i analyze what's going on." i don't know if it's working, but at least i feel like i'm making an effort to retain my sanity.
i really liked the quote on p. 126 where Brizendine says, "If she doesn't get the expected response, she will persist until she begins to conclude that she's done something wrong or that the person doesn't like or love her anymore." Thank you Louann Brizendine for summing up every relationship i've been a part of for the last 23 years. so with that quote in mind, i have been trying to tone down the crazy in my personal life. i don't know how well it's working however!
another quote i found particularly useful is on p. 124: "Tears in a woman may evoke brain pain in men. The male brain registers helplessness in the face of pain, and such a moment can be extremely difficult for them to tolerate." i think this is a valuable piece of information! it would have been useful years ago, but i am glad i have it locked away in my mind now; crying is just one piece of crazy that boys cannot deal with ;)
The Mature Female Brain (Ch. 7) was a little bit hard for me to wrap my mind around, though i still found it interesting. i enjoy knowing that one day my crazy, stressed out personality will probably mellow and that i won't be such a mess after menopause! i really liked reading about all of Brizendine's patients who were fed up with their pushy husbands and decided to just do what they wanted to do! that's how i'm going to be when i get older, a regular spitfire :D my favorite quote of the chapter was: "this change in behavior is actually the most common one i see in women sixty-five and older. Like Edith, they come into my office depressed, anxious, and unable to sleep. I soon find out that their husbands have retired over the past year" (p. 152)! hahahaha this is why i am going to become a spinster with a lot of cats.
just like the women's biology class that Emily and i took, this chapter confused me about the idea of HT. i just don't know what i'm supposed to do about that and how i'm ever going to know if i should take hormones or not. i guess that's why i'm not a doctor :) i did like the sections of the chapter that talked about estrogen making women healthier and stronger. but the whole thing is confusing! i think that that is the main point Brizendine is making in this book: a woman's brain is as crazy as the rest of her!!! :)
-Laura
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