Catching up...

I'm so behind!

I've read through five and most of six (which, like Laura, is probably the most helpful so far) but I'd like to go back through four and five.

I thought that Brizendine did a very good job of noting what it takes when it comes to women and sex--especially getting ready--"Female sexual turn-on begins, ironically, with a brain turn-off" (77). It was also interesting to me in this section that she kept on bringing up warmth--"Her feet were even warm" (77), "If you're not...warm...it's not likely to happen." (78), "Thanks to a hot bath," (79), etc. I guess that's not something I'd think of as just as important as relaxed, safe-feeling,--I mean, they do it in the rain all the time in movies! But I appreciated her note on emotional states and how they relate to sex to a woman, "A woman can't be angry at her man and want to have sex with him at the same time." (83).

The section where she focused on attraction and female infidelity--it was pretty interesting that biologically, women look for two different kinds of men--the long term father, and the short-term father for one night.

And I have to say that I'm beginning to really enjoy the last few pages of each chapter that focuses on the male brain for the same subject--Like Laura and Emily, I love the image Brizendine provides, "Just as women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion while men have a small country road, men have O'Hare Ariport as a hub for processing thoughts about sex whereas women have the airfield nearby that lands small and private planes." (91)
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Chapter 5--the Mommy Brain

I really enjoyed reading this chapter. At the moment, I have six friends who are either pregnant or else have just had their first baby--In fact, last month, at our church's women's retreat, I lent this book to one of them for the weekend, she spent the whole weekend reading this chapter--giggling over everything she could identify, looking forward to more, and laughing every time Brizendine used the word, "marinate." So having all those girls to look at while I was reading made it pretty relevant in my life--or at least the lives of those around me.

While most women worry about the changes their bodies will undergo over the next nine months, I wonder if maybe they should think about their brains? "Motherhood changes you because it literally alters a woman's brain--structurally, functionally, and in many ways, irreversibly," (95). But I thought it was wonderful how, right after saying that, Brizendine noted that the change isn't completely biological--that fathers, and adoptive parents have some of the same changes that birth mothers do, "these changes result in a motivated, highly attentive, and aggressively protective brain that forces the new mother to alter her responses and priorities in life. She is relating to this person in a way she has never related to anyone else in her life. The stakes are life and death." Soon after my cousin had her baby, she told me about this feeling--before having her own child, she had spent plenty of time with her nephews and other infants, and two months after having her Jackson, she felt the difference between watching someone else's child and spending time with her own--but it was still an adjustment to actually wrap it around her brain that she was Jackson's mother--Another month later, however, at a family function, she was definitely the mother when, as our cousins, 6-16 years old, swarmed her sleeping baby, Sarah could not focus on a conversation, her posture was tense and her eyes constantly went to the car seat that was hidden from her sight by five or so girls.

But speaking of Jackson, I really thought Brizendine's section on "baby lust" was very interesting, that a woman's brain has a biological reaction to a baby is just terrifying! "they may chalk it up to ticking biological clocks, or the "me too" influence of peers, but the real reason is that a brain change has occured and a new reality has set in. The smell of an infant's head carries pheromones that stimulate the female brain to produce the potent love potion oxytocin--creating a chemical reaction that induces baby lust." (97). This talked me into keeping my distance from any of my friends' babies!!

One of the most interesting sections, though, was the part where Brizendine talks about women inheriting their mothers' nurturing traits--even their grandmothers' traits!! "Females 'inherit' their mothers' maternal behavior, good or bad, then pass it on to their daughters and granddaughters." (110). Also the fact that a loving, nurturing, and trust-inducing adult care-giver influences baby health, stress, and intelligence, I thought that was pretty important, and showed that so much of the responsibility really does lie with the parents--I mean, that's something that's pretty much expected, but I don't think that it's really set out very often why nurturing care is so essential for infant development.