oh my, i feel like i've been neglecting this journal :*( i have been so busy! but i have been reading and i am still absolutely loving this book. i am sad that i'm almost done. i feel like i could read another 200 pages!
Chapter 6 (Emotion: the Feeling Brain) may have been the most helpful to me yet. i got really into understanding the different ways women and men interpret emotional behavior, and i have to say, it has cleared a lot up for me. i've been having a particular problem with one of my boys (more about that in class!) and i found myself reverting back to what i read in this chapter to help navigate the sticky situations i've found myself in recently. The thing about gut feeling has really made me stop and try to analyze the situation accurately. i have been trying to push out the "girl responses" that i seem prone to: going over conversations and trying to figure them out, create scenarios in my head to maneuver through, what it means when i talk to him a lot, and what it means when i have been away from him a lot...mostly just my usual crazy ;) i have instead been trying to step back and think, "no, this is just how my brain is trying to interpret the situation. i need to think about the way the boy brain works before i analyze what's going on." i don't know if it's working, but at least i feel like i'm making an effort to retain my sanity.
i really liked the quote on p. 126 where Brizendine says, "If she doesn't get the expected response, she will persist until she begins to conclude that she's done something wrong or that the person doesn't like or love her anymore." Thank you Louann Brizendine for summing up every relationship i've been a part of for the last 23 years. so with that quote in mind, i have been trying to tone down the crazy in my personal life. i don't know how well it's working however!
another quote i found particularly useful is on p. 124: "Tears in a woman may evoke brain pain in men. The male brain registers helplessness in the face of pain, and such a moment can be extremely difficult for them to tolerate." i think this is a valuable piece of information! it would have been useful years ago, but i am glad i have it locked away in my mind now; crying is just one piece of crazy that boys cannot deal with ;)
The Mature Female Brain (Ch. 7) was a little bit hard for me to wrap my mind around, though i still found it interesting. i enjoy knowing that one day my crazy, stressed out personality will probably mellow and that i won't be such a mess after menopause! i really liked reading about all of Brizendine's patients who were fed up with their pushy husbands and decided to just do what they wanted to do! that's how i'm going to be when i get older, a regular spitfire :D my favorite quote of the chapter was: "this change in behavior is actually the most common one i see in women sixty-five and older. Like Edith, they come into my office depressed, anxious, and unable to sleep. I soon find out that their husbands have retired over the past year" (p. 152)! hahahaha this is why i am going to become a spinster with a lot of cats.
just like the women's biology class that Emily and i took, this chapter confused me about the idea of HT. i just don't know what i'm supposed to do about that and how i'm ever going to know if i should take hormones or not. i guess that's why i'm not a doctor :) i did like the sections of the chapter that talked about estrogen making women healthier and stronger. but the whole thing is confusing! i think that that is the main point Brizendine is making in this book: a woman's brain is as crazy as the rest of her!!! :)
-Laura
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Chapter 5: The Mommy Brain
It's strange that, looking back over this chapter, I didn't underline nearly as much stuff or put in as many post-it notes as I did in other chapters, even though I found this one just as interesting. I did put a heart around the name Ellie on page 102, but that is because it is my sister's name and it is actually spelled the same way :)
The first thing I have underlined is that giving birth is "the pelvic equivalent of expelling a watermelon through your nostril" (101)!!! That is a scary thought, though when I read it to my grandma, she laughed and said it was a great analogy! It is so amazing what the female body goes through and can do in order to reproduce.
I now have an explaination about why my mom forgot so much stuff when she was pregnant with my brother! We kept telling her that the baby was stealing her brain, but we had no real basis for it. Yesterday they were talking about this very issue on the radio (105.1) and I almost called them and told them about this book!
I loved the part about men who get sympathy symptoms of both pregnancy and the after effects. I have heard of men getting something like morning sickness and sympathy pains, but I didn't realize that the woman's body gives signals to the man's body that will help her. Like that new fathers' testosterone levels go down (104). I bet this can be really helpful for new mothers for whom sex is the last thing on their minds. I was shocked by Brizendine statement that "New mothers lose an average of seven hundred hours of sleep in the first year postpartum" (105). While this only works out to 2 hours a night, that is a lot! I wrote "holy hell!" in the margin there :)
It is amazing how long things can have an effect on people. On page 111, Brizendine writes "college-age adults who had low maternal care in childhood showed hyperactive brain responses to stress." I understand that we are affected by stuff for our whole lives, but sometimes it is shocking to find out exactly what. I learned in my Families in poverty class last summer that my eating habits from 14 years ago when we pretty much just ate what was available still have an effect on my metabilism and cravings! That just doesn't seem fair!
I loved the inclusion of grandmothers in this chapter, because my grandma has been such a big influence on my life. My mom had a lot of issues when I was little, and my grandma has pretty much had to pick up the pieces and try to help me through it all. I also loved the statement that a nurturing substitute mom is "enough to break the cycle [...] allowing the girl to privide attentive nurturing to her own children" (112).
The part about working moms and how women need to stick together and help each other out was also interesting and so true. With as much stuff as working mothers have to deal with, and that it really takes their brains months to get back to normal, there should be more time for maternity leave. Something like postpartum leave. Women (and men) need time to adjust to one of the most life-changing events they will ever go through.
The first thing I have underlined is that giving birth is "the pelvic equivalent of expelling a watermelon through your nostril" (101)!!! That is a scary thought, though when I read it to my grandma, she laughed and said it was a great analogy! It is so amazing what the female body goes through and can do in order to reproduce.
I now have an explaination about why my mom forgot so much stuff when she was pregnant with my brother! We kept telling her that the baby was stealing her brain, but we had no real basis for it. Yesterday they were talking about this very issue on the radio (105.1) and I almost called them and told them about this book!
I loved the part about men who get sympathy symptoms of both pregnancy and the after effects. I have heard of men getting something like morning sickness and sympathy pains, but I didn't realize that the woman's body gives signals to the man's body that will help her. Like that new fathers' testosterone levels go down (104). I bet this can be really helpful for new mothers for whom sex is the last thing on their minds. I was shocked by Brizendine statement that "New mothers lose an average of seven hundred hours of sleep in the first year postpartum" (105). While this only works out to 2 hours a night, that is a lot! I wrote "holy hell!" in the margin there :)
It is amazing how long things can have an effect on people. On page 111, Brizendine writes "college-age adults who had low maternal care in childhood showed hyperactive brain responses to stress." I understand that we are affected by stuff for our whole lives, but sometimes it is shocking to find out exactly what. I learned in my Families in poverty class last summer that my eating habits from 14 years ago when we pretty much just ate what was available still have an effect on my metabilism and cravings! That just doesn't seem fair!
I loved the inclusion of grandmothers in this chapter, because my grandma has been such a big influence on my life. My mom had a lot of issues when I was little, and my grandma has pretty much had to pick up the pieces and try to help me through it all. I also loved the statement that a nurturing substitute mom is "enough to break the cycle [...] allowing the girl to privide attentive nurturing to her own children" (112).
The part about working moms and how women need to stick together and help each other out was also interesting and so true. With as much stuff as working mothers have to deal with, and that it really takes their brains months to get back to normal, there should be more time for maternity leave. Something like postpartum leave. Women (and men) need time to adjust to one of the most life-changing events they will ever go through.
Sex: The Brain Below the Belt aka the best chapter title ever!
This chapter has so much good stuff! I love how this woman writes. On page 77, she writes "Female sexual turn-on begins, ironically, with a brain turn-off." I just started laughing and thought to myself, "This is going to be good!"
I was shocked at some of the facts in this chapter, though maybe I shouldn't have been. Like that it takes women "three times longer than the typical man to reach orgasm" (78). Okay, yeah, totally makes sense, but wow! The part about the Valium was fascinating! I was laughing out-loud and my grandma asked me what was so funny, and she told me that back when she was growing up in the 50's/60's, people called Valium "mother's little helper" and she thinks it really did help her mom (who had lots of kids and not much money) keep her sanity. I'm guessing that if she started taking it early enough, it helped her have lots of kids too :) I will never look at Valium the same!
The same kind of thing goes for vacations. I never put it together before that women are more willing to do things they normally wouldn't do while on vacation because of their relaxed brain. I guess I always figured it was because they were with people they didn't know and therefore the people they know would never find out about it or something. No wonder people like vacations so much, and men worry when their wives go on vacation without them!
I always knew men had the better situation when it came to sex, but I never realized how much women really get the short end of the straw. There is so much more stuff involved for a woman than for a man. Like with going to the bathroom. There are way more steps for a woman to go through in order to pee, but for a man, it is way simple. I thought is was funny that Brizendine says they haven't found the female equivalent for Viagra, since Valium seems to pretty close. She also says that "in 2004, Pfizer officially ended its eight-year quest to prove that Viagra [...] increased sexual enjoyment in women," but I wonder if they are still looking for something that does (80).
Laura, I too laughed really hard when I read the part about the vibrator being buried in the backyard. The real-life examples in this book make it so much more true and easy to understand! So many times when I am reading it, I think "That is so true!" I also get mad sometimes about how human nature is, because of things like the handsome guys spending less money on dates, having sex earlier in the relationships, and cheating more. And as much as I hate to admit it, women are partially to blame! Well, their brains at least, since they are looking for the most symmetrical men to father their children. Those poor unsymmetrical guys!
I was surprised by not only the difference in the amount of testosterone in men and women, but also by the wide gap in that amount. "Ten to one hundred times more" in men than women seems like such a huge difference (89)! I guess it makes sense given that some women have more and some men have less, but again, wow! I also love that Brizendine calls testosterone "sexual rocket fuel" (89). Maybe they need to put some testosterone in Valium...
I was shocked at some of the facts in this chapter, though maybe I shouldn't have been. Like that it takes women "three times longer than the typical man to reach orgasm" (78). Okay, yeah, totally makes sense, but wow! The part about the Valium was fascinating! I was laughing out-loud and my grandma asked me what was so funny, and she told me that back when she was growing up in the 50's/60's, people called Valium "mother's little helper" and she thinks it really did help her mom (who had lots of kids and not much money) keep her sanity. I'm guessing that if she started taking it early enough, it helped her have lots of kids too :) I will never look at Valium the same!
The same kind of thing goes for vacations. I never put it together before that women are more willing to do things they normally wouldn't do while on vacation because of their relaxed brain. I guess I always figured it was because they were with people they didn't know and therefore the people they know would never find out about it or something. No wonder people like vacations so much, and men worry when their wives go on vacation without them!
I always knew men had the better situation when it came to sex, but I never realized how much women really get the short end of the straw. There is so much more stuff involved for a woman than for a man. Like with going to the bathroom. There are way more steps for a woman to go through in order to pee, but for a man, it is way simple. I thought is was funny that Brizendine says they haven't found the female equivalent for Viagra, since Valium seems to pretty close. She also says that "in 2004, Pfizer officially ended its eight-year quest to prove that Viagra [...] increased sexual enjoyment in women," but I wonder if they are still looking for something that does (80).
Laura, I too laughed really hard when I read the part about the vibrator being buried in the backyard. The real-life examples in this book make it so much more true and easy to understand! So many times when I am reading it, I think "That is so true!" I also get mad sometimes about how human nature is, because of things like the handsome guys spending less money on dates, having sex earlier in the relationships, and cheating more. And as much as I hate to admit it, women are partially to blame! Well, their brains at least, since they are looking for the most symmetrical men to father their children. Those poor unsymmetrical guys!
I was surprised by not only the difference in the amount of testosterone in men and women, but also by the wide gap in that amount. "Ten to one hundred times more" in men than women seems like such a huge difference (89)! I guess it makes sense given that some women have more and some men have less, but again, wow! I also love that Brizendine calls testosterone "sexual rocket fuel" (89). Maybe they need to put some testosterone in Valium...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Ch. 4
there are so many things to say about this chapter!! i really feel like i'm connecting with the book the more i read it, and i love that i haven't come up against any comprehension road blocks because of all the real-world examples and descriptive language that Brizendine provides. i also really appreciate all of the male-oriented sections, because usually when i'm reading i find myself wondering about the difference in the male brain, and i don't think the book would be as rewarding or enjoyable if it only focused on girls.
that being said, i will talk about each chapter individually.
(PS - i am eating Top Ramen as i type this and it looks like brains!!! appropriate!!) ;)
that being said, i will talk about each chapter individually.
(PS - i am eating Top Ramen as i type this and it looks like brains!!! appropriate!!) ;)
Chapter Four: Sex: The Brain Below the Belt
This chapter was super informative, though it made me feel like an emotional wreck what with women needing to completely shut off areas of their brains in order to feel even romantically inclined. we just can't help ourselves i guess. i liked the mention of the fact that women are more attracted to "sexy" mates at different points of their cycles (p. 88) because it relates back to what i learned in anthropology last semester; i wish we had been able to read this book instead of listening to all those dumb lectures and looking at bar graphs, i would have gotten the information much more easily. but i guess since the teacher was a boy, graphs and raw data were more connected to his learning patterns (see i am learning something!!).
there were some hysterical scenes in this chapter. the visual of men and women's brains was spot on: "Just as women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion while men have a small country road, men have O'Hare Airport as a hub for processing thoughts about sex whereas women have the airfield nearby that lands small and private planes" (p. 91). i think that is an excellent analogy. it makes me tolerate my younger brother a little bit more, but only slightly.
the story about the woman burying her vibrator in the backyard made me laugh out loud (p. 82)!! it reminded me of a situation on Sex and the City, and as i've been reading i keep finding similarities. In my head i keep thinking, "the SATC writers must have read this book when they were coming up with ____ storyline." but then i remember that this book came out after the show ended. it makes me feel less guilty about watching it; there are a lot of real female brain issues in that show!
one part i was shocked by was the fact that 4 out of every 10 women have experienced a traumatic sexual event in their lives that affect their current (healthy) sex lives (p. 81). it's like the statistic that 1 in 3 women will be raped in their lives. it's totally unacceptable and it makes me angry to read about it. i'm glad that Brizendine is doing her part to help women work through their sexual issues and to not feel ashamed of their feelings and the situations they find themselves in.
on a happier note: my very favorite part of this chapter came at the beginning when Brizendine pointed out that research has shown that women need to feel comfortable and have warm feet in order to become truly sexually aroused (p. 79). so socks, apparently, are the number one aphrodisiac ;) though i feel a little alarmed about this: my feet are always cold (regardless of my sock status), and not just cold, but ice box, cold-as-the-grave cold. what can i do?? it's a little disheartening.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Those crazy, crazy hormones!
There was so much in these two chapters!! Like the two of you, I was fascinated by the chapter on the Teen Girl Brain and just how dependant on hormones a woman is!! I really hope, though, that this wasn't just talking about the teen girl cycle, because I saw so much of myself in this chapter!!
But I'll just go off my Post-it's for these chapters.
The first place I stopped was when Brizendine was talking about how seriously a teen's brain takes social connections, she spoke about how desperate a woman's brain is to make social connections because, in an evolutionary sense, that's the way her offspring are most likely to survive. She ends with, "The primitive brain is saying, 'Lose that bond, and both you and your offspring are toast.'...No wonder girls find it unbearably hard to cope with feelings of being left out," (43). I had a major flash back to Jr. High and just how desperate I was to be a part of the group...
The next section that really stood out was Brizendine's talk on hormones and "why the teen girl brain freaks."
"These adolescent girls and adult women have regular, dramatic shifts in their moods and behavior because, in fact, the very structure of their brains is changing, from day to day and from week to week," (48).
See, I don't remember myself being a terrible teen, in fact, my mom even says that she doesn't remember me this way, it was more my sister who suddenly fell into drama...but I'm wondering if this can change as your age...it seems like a woman should mellow the older she gets, but as I get older, my hormones seem to have more sway from week to week...while I never used to be able to predict "Aunt Martha's visit," I now know within two days when she'll be knocking...even Jesse knows. But that might be more like what Brizendine was saying about women getting to be more familiar with their own hormone cycles.
That was pretty much it for chapter 3 though.
Like you, Emily, I enjoyed the way that Brizendine kept the story of Rob and Melissa throughout the entirety of chapter 4. One thing that started to get to me at this point was her continual return to the "cave man brain." It's probably more because of my personal beliefs than anything else, but that's just a side note. But I did find a lot of this chapter explaining a lot to me. The place where she notes that falling in love shares the same brain space as mania, obsession, and intoxication--it explains a lot from the way my sister acts when around the family now-a-days...her favorite question, "Don't you think Darrin is handsome?" is only slightly tongue in cheek--she really expects everyone--even our dad--to answer "yes" and the tell her why he's handsome!! I guess I can give her a break if it's just that her brain really is intoxicated with Darrin.
I also was interested in the part where Brizendine talks about just how powerful physical touch is to the woman's brain--that touch actually causes a hormone release! The fact that hugging causes trust was fascinating to me...I'm just that much more paranoid about my teen daughters now! But I loved the 20second hug! I'm going to make that a daily requirement in my house.
There were a few other points that I enjoyed, but I'm ready for bed...it was something about the transition from romantic passion to comfort love...how that's actually a good thing if caring for children is ever going to come up. I also was interested in how rejection hurts so much because it actually triggers the same circuits in the brain as physical pain.
--Mary
But I'll just go off my Post-it's for these chapters.
The first place I stopped was when Brizendine was talking about how seriously a teen's brain takes social connections, she spoke about how desperate a woman's brain is to make social connections because, in an evolutionary sense, that's the way her offspring are most likely to survive. She ends with, "The primitive brain is saying, 'Lose that bond, and both you and your offspring are toast.'...No wonder girls find it unbearably hard to cope with feelings of being left out," (43). I had a major flash back to Jr. High and just how desperate I was to be a part of the group...
The next section that really stood out was Brizendine's talk on hormones and "why the teen girl brain freaks."
"These adolescent girls and adult women have regular, dramatic shifts in their moods and behavior because, in fact, the very structure of their brains is changing, from day to day and from week to week," (48).
See, I don't remember myself being a terrible teen, in fact, my mom even says that she doesn't remember me this way, it was more my sister who suddenly fell into drama...but I'm wondering if this can change as your age...it seems like a woman should mellow the older she gets, but as I get older, my hormones seem to have more sway from week to week...while I never used to be able to predict "Aunt Martha's visit," I now know within two days when she'll be knocking...even Jesse knows. But that might be more like what Brizendine was saying about women getting to be more familiar with their own hormone cycles.
That was pretty much it for chapter 3 though.
Like you, Emily, I enjoyed the way that Brizendine kept the story of Rob and Melissa throughout the entirety of chapter 4. One thing that started to get to me at this point was her continual return to the "cave man brain." It's probably more because of my personal beliefs than anything else, but that's just a side note. But I did find a lot of this chapter explaining a lot to me. The place where she notes that falling in love shares the same brain space as mania, obsession, and intoxication--it explains a lot from the way my sister acts when around the family now-a-days...her favorite question, "Don't you think Darrin is handsome?" is only slightly tongue in cheek--she really expects everyone--even our dad--to answer "yes" and the tell her why he's handsome!! I guess I can give her a break if it's just that her brain really is intoxicated with Darrin.
I also was interested in the part where Brizendine talks about just how powerful physical touch is to the woman's brain--that touch actually causes a hormone release! The fact that hugging causes trust was fascinating to me...I'm just that much more paranoid about my teen daughters now! But I loved the 20second hug! I'm going to make that a daily requirement in my house.
There were a few other points that I enjoyed, but I'm ready for bed...it was something about the transition from romantic passion to comfort love...how that's actually a good thing if caring for children is ever going to come up. I also was interested in how rejection hurts so much because it actually triggers the same circuits in the brain as physical pain.
--Mary
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Ch. 2-3: The Teen Brain & Love and Trust
Chapter 3:
There were so many interesting facts in the chapter about teenage girls!! like the fact that girls can hear tone in voice better depending on where they are in their cycle (p. 34)!! that is incredible. also, the fact that estrogen can change the way a girl responds to light (p. 43). i was wondering if that maybe had something to do with SAD?? i don't know if there's a higher risk for girls, but since twice as many girls are depressed on average as boys, it seems plausible.
i thought everything about the hormone cycles was fascinating. I remember learning about it in the Women's Biology class Emily and i took, but they didn't really focus on how the hormones affect mood, just the shifts in hormone throughout the month. it makes me feel better about myself, knowing there are women who are a lot meaner than me when they start their periods ;) but i liked how Brizendine called PMDD being "allergic" to hormone changes (p. 48). that made a lot of sense to me; actually, everything makes more sense to me in this book because the language is so easy to follow and the metaphors are simple but dead-on.
it kind of makes me scared to teach high school girls, reading about all the crazy things their bodies make them do and how they lash out. but i have a feeling that most of the examples in this book are extreme cases. because i certainly don't remember being that much of a terror when i was a teenager, though i should probably ask my mom to make sure!!
at least now when i get into a high school setting, i will know what the girls are going though, and how their transformation in puberty is different from boys and how the sexes differ in their learning/behavioral styles. i might have to keep this book in my classroom for quick reference during a crisis ;)
Chapter 4:
another interesting chapter! i really liked this one because it correlates with what i learned in the first half of my anthropology class last semester, which mostly talked about sex and evolution in humans. so everything that Brizendine says about what men find attractive i could relate with and understand exactly what was going on. yay! a few things she didn't point out (at least, i don't think she did) which are also interesting and helpful:
1. women are more attracted to "handsome" men during ovulation, so they are more likely to cheat or try to "trade-up" their mates. This comes from a woman's biological need to find the mate who will give her offspring the best genes.
2. men like women whose faces show neoteny (which means they have a very narrow jaw and wide forehead, kind of like a heart shaped face) because it means that the woman has higher estrogen levels (AKA is more fertile). it also makes a woman look younger, even juvenile. which is why so many models have this face shape.
3. men always want younger wives because they are more fertile. unless it's a teenage boy, who should want an older woman because she would be more fertile than a girl his own age!
sorry if you guys already knew all that!! it's just some of the stuff i can remember from class that i thought about while reading the chapter.
I really liked the discussions of how the brain chemically reacts to the first few months of a relationship. I like the idea of a crush being like a drug high and that breaking up with or being separated from that person is identical to a drug withdrawal (p. 66-7). it's an easy example to relate to and i think it helps put everything in perspective, especially at the teenage level. I think understanding how hormonally severe the first phase of a relationship is helps provide empathy and patience for whoever is dealing with the person who is suffering from the throes of love :) i just watched Dan in Real Life the other day and one of the daughters is a teenager in love. at one point she screams at her dad (Steve Carell) that he is a "murderer of love!!!!!!" because he won't let her boyfriend (who she fell in love with after 3 days) go on vacation with them.
other interesting things from this chapter: i had no idea that men are more sexually receptive when they're stressed but women have a hard time acting romantic or relationship-friendly unless they're relaxed (p. 72). that's a difficult situation! i certainly don't want to play nice when i'm a stressed out, i want everyone to go the hell away ;)
also, the idea of a monogamy gene in men (p. 73) that they experimented with in rats. that men have vasopressin receptor genes that vary in length and that length variation may determine how prone to monogamy they are!! i particularly liked the tongue-in-cheek comments Brizendine made about gene length being the only length women should be worried about in a partner and that scientists should make a new "pregnancy" test that indicates how long the gene is in men ;) let's get to work on that!
-Laura
There were so many interesting facts in the chapter about teenage girls!! like the fact that girls can hear tone in voice better depending on where they are in their cycle (p. 34)!! that is incredible. also, the fact that estrogen can change the way a girl responds to light (p. 43). i was wondering if that maybe had something to do with SAD?? i don't know if there's a higher risk for girls, but since twice as many girls are depressed on average as boys, it seems plausible.
i thought everything about the hormone cycles was fascinating. I remember learning about it in the Women's Biology class Emily and i took, but they didn't really focus on how the hormones affect mood, just the shifts in hormone throughout the month. it makes me feel better about myself, knowing there are women who are a lot meaner than me when they start their periods ;) but i liked how Brizendine called PMDD being "allergic" to hormone changes (p. 48). that made a lot of sense to me; actually, everything makes more sense to me in this book because the language is so easy to follow and the metaphors are simple but dead-on.
it kind of makes me scared to teach high school girls, reading about all the crazy things their bodies make them do and how they lash out. but i have a feeling that most of the examples in this book are extreme cases. because i certainly don't remember being that much of a terror when i was a teenager, though i should probably ask my mom to make sure!!
at least now when i get into a high school setting, i will know what the girls are going though, and how their transformation in puberty is different from boys and how the sexes differ in their learning/behavioral styles. i might have to keep this book in my classroom for quick reference during a crisis ;)
Chapter 4:
another interesting chapter! i really liked this one because it correlates with what i learned in the first half of my anthropology class last semester, which mostly talked about sex and evolution in humans. so everything that Brizendine says about what men find attractive i could relate with and understand exactly what was going on. yay! a few things she didn't point out (at least, i don't think she did) which are also interesting and helpful:
1. women are more attracted to "handsome" men during ovulation, so they are more likely to cheat or try to "trade-up" their mates. This comes from a woman's biological need to find the mate who will give her offspring the best genes.
2. men like women whose faces show neoteny (which means they have a very narrow jaw and wide forehead, kind of like a heart shaped face) because it means that the woman has higher estrogen levels (AKA is more fertile). it also makes a woman look younger, even juvenile. which is why so many models have this face shape.
3. men always want younger wives because they are more fertile. unless it's a teenage boy, who should want an older woman because she would be more fertile than a girl his own age!
sorry if you guys already knew all that!! it's just some of the stuff i can remember from class that i thought about while reading the chapter.
I really liked the discussions of how the brain chemically reacts to the first few months of a relationship. I like the idea of a crush being like a drug high and that breaking up with or being separated from that person is identical to a drug withdrawal (p. 66-7). it's an easy example to relate to and i think it helps put everything in perspective, especially at the teenage level. I think understanding how hormonally severe the first phase of a relationship is helps provide empathy and patience for whoever is dealing with the person who is suffering from the throes of love :) i just watched Dan in Real Life the other day and one of the daughters is a teenager in love. at one point she screams at her dad (Steve Carell) that he is a "murderer of love!!!!!!" because he won't let her boyfriend (who she fell in love with after 3 days) go on vacation with them.
other interesting things from this chapter: i had no idea that men are more sexually receptive when they're stressed but women have a hard time acting romantic or relationship-friendly unless they're relaxed (p. 72). that's a difficult situation! i certainly don't want to play nice when i'm a stressed out, i want everyone to go the hell away ;)
also, the idea of a monogamy gene in men (p. 73) that they experimented with in rats. that men have vasopressin receptor genes that vary in length and that length variation may determine how prone to monogamy they are!! i particularly liked the tongue-in-cheek comments Brizendine made about gene length being the only length women should be worried about in a partner and that scientists should make a new "pregnancy" test that indicates how long the gene is in men ;) let's get to work on that!
-Laura
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